


anesthesia

by nicosolace



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Accidental Coming Out, Gen, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-07-22 16:42:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7446340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicosolace/pseuds/nicosolace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>eric bittle gets his wisdom teeth taken out and lets something kinda big slip</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mister Bittle

Bitty couldn't believe that he was 21 and hadn't gotten his wisdom teeth out yet. Of course they had started to hurt in the middle of a semester at Samwell, meaning his teammates would have to take care of him, instead of his parents. Definitely not ideal, but at least Shitty wouldn't be there to mess with him, but Ransom and Holster would be and he knew they were prepared. Jack was also coming from Providence for a day or so to help out. Bitty had Lardo drive him to the appointment and she went back with him to 'do research on how gritty it is', and Bitty didn't push it.

After the procedure was over, Bitty woke up in a different room with Lardo reading in the chair next to him. He blinked his eyes a few times and tried to talk. "Lar-" He started and Lardo cut him off.

"No talking until we get back to the Haus. Ransom and Holster want to see you all loopy." She informed him, flipping the page of 'Good Housekeeping.'

A nurse walked into the room with a clipboard in hand, "You're free to go, Mister Bittle."

Bitty started to laugh, drool pooling as he did, "She called me Mister, Lardo! Can you believe it? Mister!" Lardo shushed him as she thanked the nurse and walked him back outside.

"Hush, and no blood in the car or you're cleaning it up." She threatened when she started the car.

Bitty whined, "But what if I want to?"

"Bitty I swear, if you get blood on these seats, I won't let you listen to Bey until you're better."

Bitty gave a dramatic gasp, "Not Bey!" He huffed, folding his arms across his chest, giving her the silent treatment. Lardo gave a chuckle as she looked at how ridiculous Bitty looked with his puffed up cheeks and arms crossed. He looked like a chipmunk throwing a temper tantrum.

When they pulled up to the Haus, Bitty was just getting loopier and crazier. Lardo couldn't wait until Ransom and Holster saw him. Bitty was ranting about _"Lemonade"_ and how Jay-Z doesn't deserve Bey and frankly how no one did. Lardo shuffled Bitty onto the couch and got him an ice pack when Ransom and Holster came downstairs with a video camera in hand.

"Hey Bits," Holster started as Ransom set the camera up in front of Bitty, "How do you feel?"

Bitty turned over to them with half-glazed eyes and replied, "I want to salsa dance. Can you teach me Rans?" 

"Maybe later." Ransom laughed and changed the topic, "Say, Bits are you dating anyone?" 

Bitty breathed out, "I aammmm," He drawled, "but I can't tell you who he is."

Ransom, Holster and Lardo glanced at each other and Holster kept pressing, "Can you tell us what he looks like, Bits?"

"He has the best butt. It's so nice." Bitty whispered to Holster, as if it were a secret.

"What's his name?" Lardo asked, curious. And Bitty huffed again, his cheeks getting more and more chipmunk-like.

"I can't tell you, Miss Larissa." Bitty then broke out in laughter, "Miss! I called you Miss!" 

Ransom rolled his eyes and kept going on, "Bits, what's that have to do with anything."

"Because the nurse called me Mr. Bittle, Rans." Eric responded, as if that explained everything, "It's funny when you call people Miss or Mister. I call Jack Mister Zimmermann when he's getting annoying. I think he does it on purpose."

"What does Jack have to do with this?" Holster asked.

Bitty sighed, "Because he makes this cute little scrunched up face and goes, 'Bittle...'" Bitty said in his best Jack impression, then burst out laughing two seconds later. Ransom, Holster and Lardo looked at each other while Bitty was still laughing. The three of them had surprised looks on their faces because since when did Bitty call Jack _cute?_ Lardo cleared her throat and continued.

"Bitty, do you think Jack is cute?"

Bitty practically scoffed at her and said, "Well, duh. He's gorgeous and he has," he whispered, "like, the best ass ever." It then clicked in everyone's head. Jack. Bitty. Butt.

Holster turned off the camera after Bitty's confession and exchanged a look with Ransom and Lardo, "Bits, are you dating Jack? Like, Jack "NHL Player" Zimmermann? Like the guy that hated you your freshman year? Like, JACK?!"

Bitty looked unfazed as he answered, "Obviously." He then walked into the kitchen and started to chat with Betsy and a whisk. 

Ransom chuckled, "The kid's dating Jack and he had to be looped up on drugs in order to tell us. Lardo, you could have just gotten him stoned."

Lardo didn't answer, "Jack is going to be in **so** much trouble when he arrives."


	2. Mister Zimmermann

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here is jack being his usual self with bitty hopped up on painkillers

Jack arrived to the Haus with Jell-O and ice cream in his hands for Bitty. He had driven from Providence just to see his boyfriend hopped up on painkillers and he knew he wouldn’t be disappointed considering how Bitty was when he was drunk. He expected long conversations about Beyoncé and horrible dancing.

After stepping into the Haus, he heard scattered conversations across the kitchen and the living room. Jack walked into the kitchen to see Bitty curled up on the floor in front of Betsy with a whisk in his hands. Bitty raised his head to Jack and yelled.

“JACK!!” Bitty screamed as he tried to get up, the whisk still in his hands.

Jack set the food down on the counter as Bitty tried to tackle him to the ground, rather unsuccessfully. Bitty got drool all over Jack during his many attempts.

“Hey bud. Where’s everyone else?” Jack asked while wiping drool off his shirt.

“Rans, Holster and Lardo are in the living room talking about butts.” Bitty said with a smirk.

Jack cocked an eyebrow, “Why are they talking about butts?”

Bitty started to giggle, “They’re not. I just wanted to hear you say butts.” Bitty collapsed on the floor laughing and soon continued his conversation with Betsy. Jack rolled his eyes with a grin on his face.

“Jack Zimmermann!” Ransom and Holster stood in the doorway, Lardo not far behind, “We have a question for you.”

“Shoot.”

“How do you like the nickname Mister Zimmermann?” Lardo asked.

Jack thought for a second, “I don’t really have an opinion on it. Why do you ask?”

“Well Bitty said that when he calls you Mister Zimmermann, your-” Holster started.

Bitty interrupted from the floor, “You make this cute little face and I love it. You look so disappointed but I know that you secretly love it. Just like I secretly love your butt. It’s a good butt. It’s a _firm_ butt, and you can’t deny that sweetheart.” Bitty whispered.

Jack turned to the rest of them and grimaced, “Oh.”

“I mean, I compliment Holtzy daily but I don’t talk about his butt as firm.” Ransom commented.

“Well you did one time.” Lardo corrected, leaning up against the wall.

“That’s because it was and why would I lie to my best bro?” Holster gave a soft ‘bro’ beside Ransom. “But that’s not what we’re discussing here.” Ransom changed the subject.

Jack sighed, “What did he say exactly?”

“He said that you are gorgeous, that you have the best ass ever,” Bitty nodded at that, “and that you two were dating.” Lardo answered.

“Oh.” Jack said again, looking at Bitty, “Well, it is true that we are dating, but you cannot tell anybody. I’m not out to the Falconers and we don’t have a contingency plan set up.”

Lardo patted Jack’s shoulder and said, “Don’t worry man, we’re not dickheads.”

“Yeah bro, we would never be those guys.” Ransom added.

Holster nodded, “That’s a lax bro move, aka a dick move.”

Jack sighed in relief, “Thank you guys so much. I definitely owe you.”

Ransom and Holster made eye contact, “You know Rans, I’m pretty sure that revealing that you’re dating a NHL star while hopped up on medicine is a major fine.”

“You’re right Holtzy, definitely a major f-”

Jack interrupted them, “You two do realize that Bitty is your main source of nutrition, right?”

“Fuck.” The three of them said in unison.

“Watch your fucking language.” Bitty scolded, his eyes glossed over, “And besides, Jack can just pay. He gets paid the big bucks or should I say the big butts?” He devolved into another fit of laughter.

“I am not responsible for anything he says in this state.” Jack deadpanned.

"You loooove me." Bitty sung as he stood up.

Jack gave Bitty a kiss on the forehead, "I do."

" _ **FOOIINNEEEE!!!!**_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a long time since i've posted anything, so let me know what you thought!

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at like, 1 am so it's probably a little bit rough. but let me know what you thought!


End file.
